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Infidelity, dishonesty, cheating, secrecy, affairs—these are all words that describe potential death blows to your relationship.
Healing after your partner has had an emotional affair may seem impossible.
What is emotional cheating and how can i stop it from ruining my relationship?
You are likely feeling betrayed and unsure if you can move forward in the relationship. Most likely you are truly hurt by this and are having trouble making sense of it all. You are unsure what to do with all the anger, frustration, and sadness you are feeling.
You are thinking back through the emotional disconnect you are experiencing and feel sad. Know that there IS help and you can heal if you choose to stay in the relationship. Learning self-care strategies and ways to manage emotions like anger and blame are necessary to move forward in your relationship and begin to live in a healthy way. Recovery after an emotional affair is possible and healing through it is the first step. Although the journey may seem hard at the moment, it is possible to find the happiness and the healing you are looking for.
You found out a few weeks ago that your partner was sending personal s to their co-worker and texting after hours about non work-related things. The two of them even went out to drinks a few times and your partner hid it from you.
As a result, you feel betrayed. You cry a lot of the time and feel incredibly confused. You are wondering how long it would take until things got sexual between the two of them.
Could you be having an emotional affair?
It all feels a bit much. Unfortunately, thoughts like this only continue to blame and shame yourself. Keep reading to find out how….
Not learning how to heal and recover from an emotional affair can leave you feeling bitter and resentful in your relationship. When you choose to heal and recover from an emotional affair, you can confront your feelings and express them to your partner. Then, you can begin to feel heard and validated and authentically heal and begin to recover, versus, pushing down your feelings and avoiding hard discussions. Always remember to practice self love throughout this process. One of the reasons you may be struggling is due to self-blame.
What if I just do this? This is going to be a process but when you release the self-blame and you can learn to forgive your partner and yourself. Know that there Coping with emotional affair a lot that is underlying an affair to uncover in a relationship. This will take some time but knowing that it is part of the process and not taking it on being a one person problem will help you through.
Here at Simi Psychological Group, our team of therapists and psychologists focus on issues like this. During couples therapy, we can work to help you empower yourself and also get to the root of where things may have gone wrong.
How to heal after your partner has an emotional affair
When you are able to work through the deeper things then everything else feels better. Doing this only exacerbates the problem. There is no way around this situation, it happened. We know how hard it is to look at the stuff that led to that situation in the first place.
Why do people emotionally cheat?
It means you have to sit with all the feelings and dig deep. But there is nothing that feels better than digging deep and finding internal resolve for yourself and your relationship. In therapy, I will help you identify the underlying stuff, and go about things differently. Together we work on understanding what doing things differently in your relationship looks like.
In therapy, we will work on healing and feeling the hard stuff. Over time you will see you feel better and have let go of a lot of what has been holding you back. During this time, there may be times of anger that you are unsure of how to handle.
Understand that your anger is communicating something to you. What is it communicating? And you would be right! What feelings are under the anger? Asking yourself vital questions to help you better understand what you are feeling will help you communicate with intention rather than reaction.
Communicating with intention means really asking yourself what it is that you want to get across. What are your goals? What is most important to you? Here at Simi Psychological Group, we can address anger and how to manage and release it. Learning strategies to get to the root of your anger, such as being heard and communicating your fears, will result in feeling so much better and ready to work on even deeper issues.
By asking yourself the hard questions you will be able to help yourself vision the better and more secure you.
As a result this will allow you to feel your own growth and move your relationship in the right direction. Although this may be the last thing you want to do, you must prioritize the relationship and its progress. This means hearing your partner and what their needs and wants are. Also, this includes exploring the reason they Coping with emotional affair in the first place, and what they crave in the relationship.
When we learn to hear and understand our partner then this will open the door for them to hear and understand you. And yes, this will take time. No one heals after your partner has an emotional affair right off the bat. This will take time, deeper work, and a lot of self kindness and understanding.
One that you will be able to engrain within you. In couples therapywe will explore small ways to express and accept kindness in the relationship and how the little things really matter. We will work on allowing you to invest while taking your time in the process. Since it is a process. By working on seeing the middle range rather than leading the relationship in either anger or denial.
We know that leading on either side of the continuum will not help you heal after your partner has an emotional affair in the long run.
What is an emotional affair?
Sometimes getting an outside perspective is helpful. Whether you feel comfortable in sharing the issues with your friends or not, social connection is important during this time. Having a strong support system is necessary and vital to growth and healing. Here at Simi Psychological Group, we not only focus on self-care for you and your partner but individual support. Together we will identify where friendships may be lacking and disconnected and work to remedy and bring you closer to those who you need most. Regardless, writing these feelings is very therapeutic and can help ease your mind when they arise.
This will help you dissect your internal feelings and make sense of it all.
When too many thoughts are swimming in our minds it becomes a pile of mush. And this pile tends to exacerbate all the negative feelings we have which can lead to more sadness and frustration. In marriage counseling, I will process your feelings in the room, however, I will encourage you to work on them outside of our session. Journaling is one way and an important tool in getting these feelings out of you… and onto paper, where you can reflect on them at a later time.
It can help to see how far you have come, once you go back and read where you were once upon a time. Look at you!!
Sometimes, issues like an emotional or physical affair cannot be remedied alone. Post affair recovery takes some support. It may be helpful for another person, who is objective, professional and specializes in these things to be involved. Hearing your partner and being heard is vital to healing. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, this may not be happening, or the subject is changed, or issue avoided. Couples therapy and marriage counseling at Simi Psychological Group is focused on truly helping you and your partner go about things differently.
We have therapists who specialize in sex therapy, trauma and couples therapywho are skilled and trained to deal with the hard stuff. We can work with you as a couple or individually to identify reasons this issue happened in the first place and steps to take for healing and resolve. As a result, you will understand the perspective of your partner much more and feel better about your relationship.
Achieving post affair recovery from infidelity through an emotional affair in your relationship can be extremely difficult, however there is room to heal and grow. Recovery and peace in your relationship is possible, with both parties willing to do the work and understand one another. We Realize that sometimes extremely difficult situations happen in relationships and we here at Simi Psychological Group are here to help!