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My main focus here is going to be on codependency, which is the tendency to rely too much on another person or people and to end up in unhealthy relationship situations. Here are 36 ways to overcome emotional dependency. Developing this requires self-observation, learning and practice but eventually you will be able to take care of yourself in situations where you might normally depend on someone else. For example, if you feel sad, lonely, despairing or stressed out then you could experiment with different ways of making those feelings dissolve. The answer is not to shut yourself off from the world, to imagine that you can be fully self-reliant, to commit to the existence of a hermit and to officially declare your independence from the rest of the human race.
Emotional support is one of the big benefits of having relationships. When you face life challenges or stressyour loved ones can offer empathy and comfort by listening to your troubles and validating your feelings. In a romantic relationship, you might turn to your partner for this support first. Most romantic partners depend on each other to some extent. This total reliance on another person can eventually take a toll on your relationship and overall well-being. Emotional independence rests on one end. Completely independent people might resist all emotional support, preferring to cope with emotional needs alone, or even ignore them entirely.
Interdependent relationships, the healthiest type of relationship, fall in the middle. Interdependence means you can recognize your own emotional needs and do the work to get many of them met.
In other words, you depend on them for some emotional needs, not all of them. On the other end lies emotional dependence. Here, you typically end up relying on your partner to meet nearly all needs. When you experience distress, you might look to them immediately before trying to manage your emotions yourself.
Trouble meeting your own emotional needs can have a ificant impact on your romantic relationships, but the effects can also extend to other areas of life. Emotionally dependent people typically need a lot of reassurance and support from their partners. If you often experience feelings of insecurity or self-doubt, you might need their approval to feel good about yourself. This need can trigger fears of what might happen if they leave or stop providing the reassurance you need.
These fears of abandonment can, in turn, lead to attempts to control their behavior to hold on to them. But trying to control people usually backfires. People who feel manipulated or unable to make their own choices may end up wanting to leave the relationship.
A pattern of failed relationships is fairly common with emotional dependence. This fixation can leave your baseline stress level pretty high.
If you rely entirely on your partner for emotional support, you miss out on discovering the ways that you can offer that support to yourself. This leaves you with little capacity to pursue enjoyable activities or spend time with friends and other loved ones — both things that allow you to tend to your own emotional needs.
Be honest with yourself. If you answered yes, take heart.
You can absolutely take action to address this pattern. These tips can help you better identify and meet your own emotional needs. The first step toward meeting emotional needs involves learning to acknowledge your emotions as you experience them. It might help to remember life includes both ups and downs.
Without the bad, how could you recognize the good? The emotions you see as negative are just as important as the ones you see as positive. Instead of hiding from less-than-ideal feelings or relying on someone to make them go away, get in touch with your sense of curiosity instead. So, now that you know more about your emotional mindsetwhat can you do about it?
2. shifting focus onto yourself
Say you feel like your partner has been neglecting you. You feel jealous, lonely, or unloved. But instead of seeking reassurance, consider the situation from a different angle. In this way, you can help meet your own needs for reassurance and security. Maybe they need space to work through difficulties of their own. When it comes to identifying and breaking patterns, working with a trusted therapist can have some major benefits.
Emotional dependence often relates back to childhood. Lacking a secure attachment to your parent or primary caregiver can set you up for attachment issues in your adult relationships. Some attachment styles can play a part in emotional dependence. A therapist can help you explore issues from your past that contribute to present relationship concerns, and navigate healthier strategies of getting emotional needs met.
In therapy, you can also work to resolve other issues that often tie into emotional dependence by:. Having an emotionally dependent partner can be draining. Boundaries are necessary in all relationships. Say your partner has a habit of calling you at work whenever they have a bad day. Setting a boundary here can help.
1. becoming aware of your emotional dependency.
Instead of calling, please text instead. Then I can reply when I have a moment. Time apart is important, too. You know how to get your needs met, and they have to learn how to do the same. You can encourage them by practicing and promoting healthy behaviors. I-statements are a great way to do this without expressing judgment or blame. If your partner continues to struggle with emotional dependence, they might find individual therapy helpful. A couples therapist can also help.
Therapy provides a safe, judgment-free space where you can get on the same about relationship needs, boundaries, and future goals. Crystal Raypole has ly worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. Being codependent can take a toll on your well-being and the quality of your relationships.
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