- My age:
- Sexual preference:
- Tone of my iris:
- Warm dark
- My sex:
- I'm girl
- What is my hobbies:
- I like swimming
First thing to consider is that domination itself is not a specific act but more of a context on how that act is applied. That being said domination can range the entire spectrum of everything sexual from pillow talk to things that could be considered torture in any other context. For the purpose of this guide, your safety, and not scaring you away I will start with the most gentle stuff and move on up.
Being a Dom can seem very appealing. Most are people who want to be more dominant sexually in bed, but also in their relationships and personal life. Unfortunately, there are a lot of fake doms out there. If they focus more on what they are getting than what they are giving that is a huge clue. Of course the nature of a Dom can be somewhat selfish at times, but they should always make sure that the sub is satisfied not just sexually, but emotionally and physically too. Many new Doms latch onto the idea of getting sexually pleased whenever they want, even in the beginning of new relationships.
But just like any relationship, trust needs to be earned. Real emotional harm can be done. The definition of a Dominant is an important, powerful person who likes to be in charge. They crave obedience and need to be in control. A Dominant can take on many different roles such as:.
Dominant and submissive relationships – top 10 rules to follow
They strive to exercise control in all things, not just over their sub sexually. This means that they have order in their own personal lives.
It is not uncommon for a Dom to have an obsessive-compulsive personality. They take great pride in the health of their bodies, their homes, vehicles, and jobs, knowing these all reflect on them. The Dom also takes responsibility for the wellbeing and the proper training, guidance, and discipline of their sub. And the Dom maintains a stable and safe environment in which their sub may perform their duties in service of the Dom.
Doms are not perfect; they will mess up from time to time. They can still apologize without appearing weak by just admitting what they did wrong and what they will do to fix it.
They can get mad and angry but they should always strive to be in control. A Dom may feel guilty always taking, but they need to remember that most subs want and need to be used sexually. Ways a Dom can do this are:. One challenge my Dom said he had to overcome was being afraid he was being too strict and hard on me with punishments.
12 things every submissive should know
I know that if I ever did feel that way that is what safewords and my journal are for. If anything, I think in the beginning I got off too easily sometimes. They should also look the part. Doms should have good posture and stand tall, trying to be physically above the sub, often making them sit below them or kneel. A Dom should also talk confidently and be direct.
Pick a place. One of my favorite things my Dom does is tell me to make him coffee. Training a sub is a lot of work and not to be taken lightly. It is a very rewarding process though. When a Dom trains a sub they are molding them to be a better version of themselves.
Behavior modification is achieved through maintaining structure and order. A lot of subs thrive on a set routine, and rules and protocols can help a Dom provide that.
How to be a good sub for your dom and… yourself
The sub can also keep a journal so the Dom can get inside their head. Punishments are usually necessary to help guide and correct them. It takes constant effort, but it is a beautiful thing when the sub becomes exactly what the Dom desires. To learn more about training for both Doms and subs go here ». True dominance is not just a role, it is a way of life. Being a Dominant means they are held to a higher standard, but it is all worth it.
I really enjoy your informative articles! Also, many many thanks for pointing out that even us Doms can make mistakes; I tend to be hardest on myself for that. Please keep the articles coming! Thank you so much, Ken! That means so much to me. Feel free to share the articles with others in your community. I am a Vietnam veteran, and spent 13 years in the military, until injuries sustained there, eventually prevented me from doing my job in the military.
We were together for about two and a half years other than when I was away doing my job, and eventually she needed more, time wise, than I was able to provide due to my job In the military. I miss that fun, and after reading all written here I was good at being a Dom. I guess there are places one could meet other like minded ppl. How could one find like minded people in an area, which sounds like it is more in the open than my days, decades ago?
Thank you for sharing your story, Charles! Fortunately, there are LOTS of online and offline ways to find local, like-minded people now.
Be sure to read this article to help you on your journey. I found someone quite amazing and I want to be the best person I can be. There are multiple points in your article that just made complete sense. Good evening. I am new in the BDSM world. I would like to say your site is very informative and I will continue visiting. Thank you. As the Dom I always end up holding back out of fear from a past abusive relationship.
I want to be that person but I cant get over the idea that any amount of assertion may lead to her feeling bullied instead of her feeling like my possession like she wants to. Hi, Kyle! Doms can have all sorts of different styles, and stuffy protocols and all-serious attitudes are not that popular anymore. Every dynamic is different, and you can build your own, the way you want it to be!
We have slowly been exploring; and, learning this new life together. My wife has enjoyed our sessions thus far; however, i feel we are at an impasse which is my fault.
I am not sure where we are with satisfying her needs. I may be the Dom; but, it is more as if she Tops-from the-bottom. I am not complaining one bit. We have been together for 28 years. Whether she from the bottom; or, me from the top…. I just want to pleasure her in any way possible. I really like this article! Thanks Pete! You can on that here. Take care! I absolutely loved this article.
It turns out I have been a Dom without realizing for a very long time and I am ready to embrace it now. I am in the process of training my sub but also training myself and this was great help. Thank you for this. My wife and I want to try this lifestyle and we are reading all your articles on your site. If we have questions is there a place we can ask? Thanks again for all this info!! Well this is a comment I honestly never saw myself leaving anywhere ever. This got me to reading through everything I could get my eyes on the past few days and soaking up lots of information.
Hi Daniel! Congratulations on getting into the lifestyle.
Plus you get to be surrounded and supported by people like you. So you can always come back to it when you have time. Thanks so much- younger man with experience dominating here who is greatly benefitting from a different perspective!