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  • I'm 42 years old
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CW: some of the language is a little aggressive. The minute that a dad learns he's going to have a daughter, there's a tendency to be overprotective of his baby girl. Some d joke that they won't let their daughters date until their 30, while others find fault in every single boy that their daughters bring home. Daughters are no doubt embarrassed by their overprotective d but for the most part, know that its all talk. Aleisha Stubley from Middlesbrough in North Yorkshire, England, is one daughter that may have underestimated her dad's over-protectiveness when she had her new boyfriend over for dinner.

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Questions to ask and 24 specific guidelines for your daughter’s boyfriend

Scripture indicates, in both Old and New Testaments, that fathers are able for the well-being and protection of their children, especially their daughters. Under Mosaic Law, for example, a woman accused of not being a virgin prior to marriage would be charged as such by her newlywed husband, and the father was able to present evidence contrary to the claim cf. Implied in the father's defense is that he was the one who was to preserve his daughter's purity while under his hehip.

On the other hand, if the newlywed husband's claim was found to be true, the daughter was to be stoned to death at the door of her father's house cf. It was to his utter shame and sorrow for failing in his duties.

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As theologian John Gill explains, stoning her at her father's house was "for his greater disgrace, and as a sort of punishment for his neglect of her education, not taking care to instruct her, and bring her up in a better manner.

On into the New Testament, the Apostle Paul addressed a host of relational issues for the church in Corinth. In 1 Corinthians 7, he spoke of aspects such as singleness, divorce, and remarriage. And tucked away near the end of the chapter, he addressed fathers cf. Thus, what is implied is that, once again, fathers are assumed to be responsible for their daughter's protection—particularly with regards to a potential future husband.

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And of course, this fits well with other passages of Scripture, such as 1 Timothywhich speaks of a man managing his household. All this to say, d have the duty to make sure that the man to whom they give their daughter's hand in marriage is qualified. To that end, one of the most important things a father can do is to spend time talking with any young man seeking a relationship with his daughter, asking the young man the hard questions that need to be asked. It may be uncomfortable.

It may seem overbearing. But it's necessary. What are your hobbies? What are your personal goals for the next years?

What is one of your best childhood memories? How would you describe your teenage years? How would your friends describe you? How would your parents describe you? What does a typical week of your life look like? Have you ever been in trouble with the law? What kind of music do you enjoy?

What are the main qualities that attracted you to this person? What are your plans for the future of this relationship? How soon would you be ready for a wedding? Where would you plan on living as a couple? How well can you provide for a wife and a family?

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What kind of financial debt would you bring into the marriage? What physical boundaries do you have in place to safeguard your purity? Without graphic detail, to what extent have you been physically intimate in prior relationships? What ministries do you currently serve in at your local church? What are you currently studying in the Bible? Where would you plan on attending church as a couple?

How would you respond to a family member inviting you to a homosexual wedding ceremony?

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How many hours per week do you spend in entertainment TV, movies, internet, etc? What is your history with pornography? What is your favorite book of the Bible and why? What do you think about John MacArthur?

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What do you think about Joel Osteen? What is the area of your life that needs the most improvement? What are your views on alcohol, smoking, tattoos, piercings, and swearing? What is the Gospel? What is the role of the Old Testament in the life of a Christian? What are your thoughts on Calvinism vs.

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What are your thoughts on Charismatic theology? What do you look for in a church? What would say are the main differences between Christianity and Roman Catholicism? What are your views regarding divorce and remarriage? What do you think is the biggest problem facing the church today? What do you consider to be the roles of a husband in terms of family life? What do you consider to be the roles of a wife in terms of family life? What do you consider to be the roles of a father in terms of family life? What do you consider to be the roles of a mother in terms of family life?

How many children do you want to have?

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What are your thoughts on a wife staying home full-time to care for children? What are your thoughts on public school, private school, and homeschool? What is your relationship with your mom and dad like?

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With those questions in mind, consider a handful of concluding thoughts about interviewing a potential suitor for your daughter:. There is a world of difference between ignorance of an orthodox theological point and defiance of an orthodox theological point cf. Acts Being unsure about Charismatic theology is not the same as being a "cautious continuationist" or full-blow Charismatic. Having never heard of John MacArthur is not the same as despising verse-by-verse expository preaching. Remaining confused about how to apply the Old Testament Law is not the same as being antinomian.

The Apostle Peter wrote that growth in knowledge is an important indication of true conversion, which necessarily implies that none of us has learned all that needs to be learned in Scripture cf. Ignorance simply shows an opportunity for growth, whereas defiance shows a serious defect.

50 questions to ask your daughter's potential suitor

When it comes to issues of outright defiance or rejection, don't be afraid to treat a particular issue as an automatic disqualifer. If a young man says that repentance is not necessary for salvation, that homosexual desire is not inherently sinful, or that church attendance is optional, it is entirely legitimate to consider him automatically disqualified. Make sure you have clarity as to his true position, and once you do, don't hesitate to consider that the end of the road. Some things are non-negotiable. And this can certainly include issues that are not theologically complex as well.

For example, Scripture says that a man is to provide for his own household cf. While it's certainly true that 2 Corinthians is speaking of believers ed together with unbelievers in spiritual enterprise, there is also an application that is often drawn and rightly so about believers marrying unbelievers. After all, Scripture expressly speaks of marrying "only in the Lord" cf. And marriage certainly is a spiritual union, as it represents Christ and the church cf.

But, a second-level application can also be drawn in terms of a spiritually immature man marrying a spiritually mature woman.

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Scripture not only speaks of the husband being head of the wife, but it goes so far as to assume that the man ought to be mature enough to guide and lead his wife in spiritual matters cf. Thus, even if a man appears to give all evidences of being a believer, that does not automatically mean he is in the position to pursue marriage.

If the spiritual disparity between your daughter and a potential suitor is so great that it would cripple the man's ability to lead, that's a reason to pause for consideration.

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